The route of all my problems = MONEY
Money is not my friend right now, and to be honest, it hasn't been for a good while now.
My biggest hate is that it doesn't pay for me to go back to work part time because we don't see that money. And Joe and I both don't want Aoife being looked after for at least 9 hours a day, 7 days a week by someone else. When we started trying for Aoife, our main reason to have a child was so that we could bring her up. We could watch her learn her first crawl, first steps, first words ect, and for when she's older to be able to ask us "when did this happen" ect. Paying for someone else to have that privilege just isn't right in our opinion, and yes we might be ten times better off, but would we really be happier? Nope we certainly wouldn't. And it wouldn't benefit Aoife either.
We really don't have a lot, and we are struggling so much at the moment. To the point where I am seeking professional help - I feel it's my main cause of my panics. But there's one thing, that we have alot of, and that's love. There is not one day where Aoife gets bored or has nothing to do. Whether its a walk to the park, to the woods, to the ponds, or the park, or seeing friends -
we are doing something! And she loves it. She loves the outdoors, and she loves being able to explore and experiment. These kind of things, money can't buy.
But there are things I want Aoife to have just because I want to spoil her and show her the world. I am so worried that I will never be able to afford to take her away on holidays, especially that one magical place that kids dream of - Disneyland. I've never been abroad, and that has made me want to take Aoife away even more. I want her to gain experience from life. We can't even afford to take away somewhere in England! We can't afford many days puts, and we don't drive because yet again we can't afford it.
When you have a child; you just want to give them the world, and when that can't happen, it makes you feel completely and utterly horrid. I honestly feel like a failure. It makes me think I should of done more with my life before we had her, and that we are selfish. I hate feeling like it. Aoife is my life, and everyday I plan new things, and activities to do with her. And every place I take her too, I walk there. Sometimes it can be miles, but she is worth every step. Just to see her smile makes it all worth it.
It's just a waiting game..Joe will be going to University in 18 months to train to become a teacher. It will take him probably around 6 years to be qualified. But he promises us, one day we will be able to have all the nice things, and be able to spoil our children. Time feels like such a long way away when you are struggling. But the one thing keeping us going is that we have done it ourselves.
My biggest hate is that it doesn't pay for me to go back to work part time because we don't see that money. And Joe and I both don't want Aoife being looked after for at least 9 hours a day, 7 days a week by someone else. When we started trying for Aoife, our main reason to have a child was so that we could bring her up. We could watch her learn her first crawl, first steps, first words ect, and for when she's older to be able to ask us "when did this happen" ect. Paying for someone else to have that privilege just isn't right in our opinion, and yes we might be ten times better off, but would we really be happier? Nope we certainly wouldn't. And it wouldn't benefit Aoife either.
We really don't have a lot, and we are struggling so much at the moment. To the point where I am seeking professional help - I feel it's my main cause of my panics. But there's one thing, that we have alot of, and that's love. There is not one day where Aoife gets bored or has nothing to do. Whether its a walk to the park, to the woods, to the ponds, or the park, or seeing friends -
we are doing something! And she loves it. She loves the outdoors, and she loves being able to explore and experiment. These kind of things, money can't buy.
But there are things I want Aoife to have just because I want to spoil her and show her the world. I am so worried that I will never be able to afford to take her away on holidays, especially that one magical place that kids dream of - Disneyland. I've never been abroad, and that has made me want to take Aoife away even more. I want her to gain experience from life. We can't even afford to take away somewhere in England! We can't afford many days puts, and we don't drive because yet again we can't afford it.
When you have a child; you just want to give them the world, and when that can't happen, it makes you feel completely and utterly horrid. I honestly feel like a failure. It makes me think I should of done more with my life before we had her, and that we are selfish. I hate feeling like it. Aoife is my life, and everyday I plan new things, and activities to do with her. And every place I take her too, I walk there. Sometimes it can be miles, but she is worth every step. Just to see her smile makes it all worth it.
It's just a waiting game..Joe will be going to University in 18 months to train to become a teacher. It will take him probably around 6 years to be qualified. But he promises us, one day we will be able to have all the nice things, and be able to spoil our children. Time feels like such a long way away when you are struggling. But the one thing keeping us going is that we have done it ourselves.
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