My 2013 so far..

Trying to sum up this year is pretty difficult. I guess the best way to describe it is that it's been like a roller coaster. Mainly lows though. 

Right from the beginning of the year, I had a bad feeling. I told my sister, Joe and my mum that I could sense something bad was going to happen this year. And I was right. 

Money has been absolute evil this year, and has caused us so many problems and panics. It got me so down in the beginning of the year, and had to seek help. Thankfully we are now back on track and better than ever financially, but it was tough few months. 

I met some absolute vile girls this year that I considered to be my close friends. But as soon as I told them I didn't like their two faced ways, or one track friendship, they showed their true colours and tried making my life hell. Made a few people turn against me. And lied about me to others. Also told me that "I'm not the only person to go through losing someone" and a few other disgusting things. I've had them try and become my friend again since that and denying everything they done before...which just makes me laugh. Quite a shame really, because I did so much for one of these girls. You don't realise at the time that it affects your life, but now I'm so much stronger and less forgiving because of it. I've come to realise that I don't need anyone in my life apart from my Aoife, bump, family and those few amazing friends that have been there and took my side through everything I've been through this year. 

My nan was diagnosed with cancer, and it spread so quickly that within five months she lost her battle. My nan was pretty much a second mum to me, I was truly blessed to have two such wonderful ladies in my life, and she touched everyone's heart. She was so loved, and still will be forever. She shouldn't of gone yet, and doctors failed her miserably. But she fought so hard and we are all extremely proud of her. Life is so precious. 

Bad things aside, we also had incredible joy at finding out we were expecting baby number two after five months of trying. Nan was soooo excited and desperate to meet him. And we are all are too. Starting to feel excited and nervous about meeting him again now, and can't wait for Aoife to be a big sister. All she goes on about is her "baby buvva". He will be named in honour of my wonderful Nan. 

And we got to see our beautiful little girl grow up even more, start pre-school, learnto talk, learn to use the toilet, turn two, and become even more beautiful than she already was.

There's still a few months left of this year, but this year has taught me so much as a person. And I am a totally different person now. I am happier, less stressed, more appreciative of what I have, less forgiving to people who have done me wrong, less judgemental, more open, I sleep better, I've realised what I really want to do with my life. I don't let things pathetic things bother me. I've realised money cannot buy you happiness. After all, it can't give you fertility or babies, or buy you everlasting love, can't buy good friends, can't buy a loving family, can't bring a loved one back and can't cure death or illnesses - that's true happiness. 

And I feel richer than I ever have before. And I feel so much better than I ever have before.